


Look Down at Me

by yourfriendlyneighborhoodanon



Category: Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fingering, First Time, Incest, M/M, Mafia AU, Slight Violence, angst about incest, mafia enforcer thor, younger brother loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:11:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourfriendlyneighborhoodanon/pseuds/yourfriendlyneighborhoodanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had been close when they were younger. Loki remembered riding around on his brother’s shoulders, arms spread like he was flying. The feeling of Thor’s warmth supporting him was a memory he treasured. Now his brother was always away, ‘working.’ They tried to shield him from it but Loki knew what working meant for Thor. He would come back with bloody fists and a cold smile that didn’t always thaw. Tall men in suits patted him on the back, and he started wearing his hair in a little bun at the back of his neck and carrying a gun. Loki was uncontrollably jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look Down at Me

They had been close when they were younger. Loki remembered riding around on his brother’s shoulders, arms spread like he was flying. The feeling of Thor’s warmth supporting him was a memory he treasured. Now his brother was always away, ‘working.’ They tried to shield him from it but Loki knew what working meant for Thor. He would come back with bloody fists and a cold smile that didn’t always thaw. Tall men in suits patted him on the back, and he started wearing his hair in a little bun at the back of his neck and carrying a gun. Loki was uncontrollably jealous.

The Odinson family had been growing in power for years under their father’s one watchful eye. Some scoffed at the story that Odin could see through a man, and others merely shivered. Snitches never lasted long. The twin ravens of their family crest had become a calling card, and people paled and crossed the street when they saw it stitched into leather jackets or tattooed on rough knuckles.

Loki always looked up to Thor, broad and blond where he was thin and dark-haired. Thor was older and more valued in their father’s eyes. Loki was older than Thor had been when Odin began giving him responsibility. But Loki was the younger, unwanted son and no one gave him anything. It hadn’t been as bad when Thor didn’t go away so much.

They used to live with their mother, but when Thor began running with the enforcers Odin had moved him to his own apartment, and somehow Loki had tagged along. No one seemed to notice that he lived with his brother now. Odin had always favored his eldest son, and Loki fancied himself invisible. Thor was the only one who cared about him. His happiest moments were when Thor would come back and sit with him watching TV, an arm draped heavy over his shoulders and his bare feet dwarfing Loki’s on the coffee table.

Lately Thor had been avoiding him. It was probably because his brother had outgrown him, Loki thought. It made sense that Thor didn’t need him the way Loki needed Thor. Thor had his own friends, his leather jacket and his arrogant attitude. He would probably inherit the whole organization one day. All Loki had was one brother who spent more and more time out of the apartment, and when they were on the couch together sat all the way at the end and never looked at him. Thor used to grin like a child when he came through the door and found Loki waiting for him. Now he barely acknowledged him, if he came home at all. But Loki kept waiting, just in case.

Loki sat on his bed, staring at the same page in his book for an hour as he listened for the outside door, the inside door, and then the distinctive _clomp clomp_ of Thor’s boots being tossed to the floor. He knew he shouldn’t bother Thor when he was tired after working, but he desperately wanted to ask all about the latest job. It must have been big, because Heimdall had phoned them last week, his distinctive deep-as-a-well voice rumbling through the static of his disposable phone. He never called from the same number twice, and he knew everything. Loki had held his breath and listened by the door to see if they would take him along, but as always Thor told him “stay put and stay out of trouble” instead.

The outside door slammed and Loki shot out of his room and towards the hall, vaulting over the back of the couch and after a bounce arranging himself in a casual posture. He felt it his duty to wait up until Thor got back, and the dark circles under his eyes grew deeper every night. These days Thor returned in the faint light of morning smelling of blood, or with his hair mussed, stinking of alcohol and uncomfortable perfume. Loki had taken to dozing lightly on the couch in the predawn hours so he wouldn’t miss his brother’s return. The nights Thor did come back his entrances were loud and hard to miss, even when he was trying to be stealthy. Sometimes Loki woke up with crusted eyes and the edge of a couch cushion pressed into his cheek.

Loki's sat up straighter when he heard the distinctive clicking of keys in the lock. He pulled his legs up and hugged his knees, watching the door. But the sound changed. There was a soft scrape of metal across metal, and muffled curses. More than one voice, but none of them Thor. He couldn’t quite hear the words but their tone had a cruel edge. The door handle rattled and he heard pieces of the lock tinkling like silverware as it broke.

Prickling fear spiraled in Loki's stomach. He scrambled to his feet as the door burst open. All he saw was two dark suits and four black gloves before he sprinted for the kitchen, sprawling the end table as he leapt over it. He heard a crash and angry obscenities behind him as the men rounded the couch, their shoes pounding almost as hard as his heart. They had come here to kill or kidnap him, even a second son would be worth something to Odin. He scrambled for the gun hidden in the back of the tupperware drawer but they were on him before he could reach it. He kicked and beat with the panicked strength of a trapped bird. Loki knew it was pointless but he screamed his brother's name into a choking gloved hand.

All three of them froze when a furious bellow echoed through the apartment. Thor erupted into the room and there was a single moment of perfect silence before he was upon them. The first attacker was torn off him and slammed against the wall. Loki heard the man's ribs crack like kindling. The second man was bringing his gun around, Loki kicked him in the shin and before he righted himself there was a flash of silver and the impact filled the small kitchen. When Loki uncovered his eyes both men slumped motionless on the floor and Thor was standing over him, breathing hard through his nose. He held his hammer, Mjolnir, in his hand, and her gleaming head was dark with blood.

Loki let out a mothlike breath. His brother was magnificent and terrifying in his bloodlust. The veins on his arms stood out as he gripped the hammer. There were flecks of blood on his face, and his nostrils were tight and flared. He was glorious and lethal, and Loki held his own hands together to stop them from trembling. Thor was staring at the body at his feet, so lost in rage he couldn't see his younger brother behind it, sitting on the floor gazing up at him.

“Thor...”

Their father once growled at Loki, " _Never_ speak to Thor when he's been fighting. Your brother loves you but he doesn't always know what he does." Loki never remembered this until too late. Thor’s diamond gaze turned on him, and Loki saw in a flash the image of Thor raising the hammer, blind blue eyes glistening, and the weight of it crushing his skull. But Thor sagged as the lightning-strike tension left him. Mjolnir slipped from his grip and thudded to the floor.

“Thor, you—” The rest of Loki’s sentence was muffled in Thor’s shirt. His brother’s arms were huge and warm around him, and Loki's whole body was shaking. He was glad it hid the extra shiver from Thor's breath on the nape of his neck.

Loki had always loved Thor’s voice, low and rich, rumbling against his skin. His brother spoke into his hair, holding him. “Are you alright? I thought...”

Loki allowed himself to breathe. “You came..."

Thor pulled back and stared at him. He took Loki's face gently in his hands. “Of course I came. I will always protect you, Loki.”

Loki avoided Thor's eyes. “But look what happened, you’re never here! You’ve been avoiding me, I know you have. You don’t really need me, I just cause trouble.”

Loki felt tears on his cheeks and sniffled angrily. He hadn’t meant to tell Thor any of his thoughts, but the shock and upheaval of the attack had stirred his adrenaline and his emotions together. He was happy because Thor had come to help him, but angry at him for showing up at the last minute to save him. Hated him for avoiding him for weeks then claiming that he would always be there.  

There was a rustle and they turned to the attackers strewn about their kitchen. The one with the broken ribs was awake and trying to reach something in an inside pocket. Thor rose and kicked the man’s hand viciously.

His voice was muffled like snow. “Loki, go to the bedroom. I'll deal with this.”

Lok swiped a hurried palm across his cheek to erase the tears. “I can help! I want to be like you, I can do it, I’m not a kid. ”

Thor picked up his hammer, looking at it instead of his brother. He was slipping away again. Loki wanted to be close to Thor, for Thor to look at him, to care about him, to keep him warm with strong arms around him.

“Loki, don't. Just go.”

Loki looked at the mess on their kitchen floor, at the trails of bloody pink sweat trickling down Thor’s face. He closed the bedroom door and curled up on the bed, hugging his knees to his chest. There was a thick, heavy _crunch_ from the kitchen. Loki swallowed bile in his throat. He sat there, staring at the rough skin of his knees for endless, drifting hours. He heard people come in, hurried discussions, swears and the grunting of men lifting soulless things. Worried arguments muttered near the door. He heard new locks and the latch click and silence. He thought Thor must have left too, left him all alone with the memory of a red smear on the kitchen cabinet.

He looked up when he felt a hand on his forehead. Thor's blue eyes were narrowed, but with concern in place of fury.

"Father said we should wait here until tomorrow. Everything will be taken care of, we'll be alright, we just have to stay here and stay out of sight."

"Ok."

Thor swept a strand of dark hair behind Loki's ear. He stayed like that, standing at the foot of the bed, looking down at his little brother until Loki raised his eyes to look back. He couldn't read Thor's expression, and it troubled him. Usually his brother was an open sky, any cloud that crossed it was easy to trace. But there was something hidden, and the fact that it was hidden made Loki need to seek it out.

He tried to steady his voice, but it came out with a tremble. “Are you going to leave?”

Thor swayed slightly on his feet. Loki could feel his body heat, and felt pathetically small. Thor reached as if to touch him again but drew back before his fingers met Loki’s skin.

“I should go.”

He turned with his head down and strode towards the door. Loki meant to ask if Thor was angry with him, but what came out was “Do you hate me?”

Thor stopped and looked back at him. “Loki? Why would I hate you?" Now Loki could see the confusion and hurt, now he could see what Thor felt, and it was breaking him.

This time it burst out in a torrent. “Then why do you always go away? Why do you always leave me behind, and when you’re here you never look at me! I just want...” He hid his face in his hands and tried to push the tears back in. "I just want you to be here, like you used to, or I want to come with you. I don't have any other friends, I just have you and you hate me."

To cry was weak, and he dreaded Thor thinking he was weak and useless. But now he had ruined it, ruined everything.

He tried to stifle his traitorous mouth with his hands but the words snuck through. "I just want you to love me."

Thor hesitated, and Loki thought he might burn a hole into the earth with his embarrassment. But then his brother's huge arms were tight around him. Loki shivered, but in Thor's arms he felt safe. The attack had been traumatic, but even before that, he realized, he hadn't felt safe since his brother last held him.

Thor rubbed Loki's back, warm broad hands moving in smooth circles across his curved spine. Loki tried to hide his tears by holding more tightly to Thor's body. Thor's hand was under his shirt, and each circle pushed it a little higher. Thor ran calloused fingers along the knobs of his spine, and the slight bow of each rib.

Thor's voice was as quiet as he'd ever heard it. "Of course I love you. I just want to protect you. From everything. From myself."

"But I only feel safe when I'm with you."

Thor's hand stopped rubbing and cupped Loki's neck, running his thumb along the smooth edge of his jaw. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not safe to be around though."

"I can defend myself." Both of them knew the untruth of that statement in light of that night's events. "I can fight."

"I would kill anyone who touched you." Thor leaned in until their foreheads met. "Anyone but me." His hands felt like they could hold Loki and meet around his body. They made warm paths up and down his sides, dragging down to rub along his narrow thighs. Loki could taste Thor's breath in his mouth. He let his eyes close and breathed it in, the intimate scent of his brother filling his mouth. It almost didn't register at first when Thor tilted his head in and the warm, slippery length of his tongue slid inside Loki's mouth.

His startled noise turned into a muffled moan at the unexpected slickness as Thor kissed him, pressing against him and cradling his head gently in a massive palm. His beard tickled Loki's cheek, and he opened his mouth wider as Thor's tongue pushed into it. It was something Loki had never done before, he didn’t talk to anyone at school, and after that he mostly stayed in the apartment. He’d never felt anything like this and never had the wetness of another’s tongue in his mouth. Thor pulled back, panting quietly, and Loki opened his mouth and chased him, seeking for the warmth, the safety he craved. Thor kissed him again, harder and deeper this time, but when he broke it he looked away and put a hand over his mouth. Loki followed it with his own.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

Thor shook his head. “We can’t. It’s not right.”

Loki’s gut felt cold. He thought Thor loved him. Didn’t the fact that Thor wanted him mean he loved him? He pushed Thor's hands away. “I’m sorry.”

Loki scowled away his heartbreak. Of course Thor didn’t want him. He was the little one, the useless one. He would just have to be strong by himself. He knew Thor could feel all his muscles tightening. pulling him inward. The set of his small mouth was despair overwritten by rage.

"Loki. _Loki_. It's not your fault. It's just I can't... I can't be around you and not want you. And I _can't_ want you."

Loki still didn't look at him. He played with the sheet and watched his finger inscribe furrows in the fabric. "Why not?"

"Loki. We're brothers. If Odin found out..." Thor shook his head. His face said he knew he should leave but desperately wanted to stay. Loki couldn't resist sneaking a glance up at him. It was the most vulnerable he had ever seen his brother since they were small. Thor was strong, and loud, ecstatic when he was happy, enraged when he was angry. When he was working he was cold and deadly as a bull, iron eyes and hooves of steel, he crushed anything in his path.

Loki spat out the words. "I hate you."

He gasped when Thor grabbed him by the neck. He had a vision of being shaken to death like an unwanted puppy. Thor held him at arms length just long enough for Loki to see a flash of lightning in his eyes, then his brother kissed him again, rough and fast as thunder.

Thor tore himself away from Loki's lips, but Loki's hands were tangled in his shirt and he nearly pulled him off the bed as he tried to leave.

"Loki let go."

"No, no, no, Thor I'm sorry, I lied. I don't hate you. I love you..."

Thor put his large hands over Loki's small ones, tentatively, as if he was afraid of crushing them. "I know. And I love you. I always will."

Loki curled his fingers tighter. "Then stay."

“I can’t.”

“ _Stay_.”

Thor stayed.

Loki sat on the edge of the bed with his legs dangling down. His feet didn't quite reach the floor. Thor had pulled Loki's loose shorts off, and his underwear, and thrown them across the room. Thor's shirt bunched against his biceps as he rubbed Loki's back again. Loki was squirming, eager and embarrassed and insecure. He could see the shape of Thor's erection underneath his tight black jeans, dwarfing his own childish prick. He forgot to blush when Thor kissed him and pulled Loki's t-shirt over his head.

His hands touched Loki everywhere, huge and warm, comforting and arousing. Loki's cock was dribbling little beads of precome by the time Thor had made a thorough examination of his body, fingers rubbing at his small brown nipples, palms sliding over his soft stomach, knuckles brushing across his bitten lips. Thor examined him with wonder and lust in his eyes, and it made Loki glow to know it was all for him.

Thor spoke between tickling kisses. “Loki, I’ll be back in a moment. I just need to get something. Don’t move, ok?”

Loki murmured something close to yes and nodded. He lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. When Thor’s weight had been gone from the bed for a long minute he sat up. He could see a rectangle of white that was the open bathroom door. Thor was leaning on the sink with his head down, a black shape against the tiles. Loki couldn’t tell if he was crying or shivering from the force with which he gripped the basin’s edge.

“Thor?” His brother looked up, and Loki realized it was doubt that was hurting him. Thor was doubting, and if Loki let him think for much longer he would decide to leave again. To leave him. And Loki wanted anything but to be alone. He wanted Thor, wanted Thor to be his and only his.

Thor came to lean in the doorway, a tube of something from the bathroom in his hand. "Loki, we're family. We're _brothers_.” He rubbed his forehead so hard it made creases in his skin. “You're my little brother, this is wrong."

Loki's breath left him in a rush. "I don't care. Please, you can do whatever you want. I just want to be with you. Don't abandon me."

Thor hesitated. Loki did the one thing that had always gotten Thor to do what he wanted. He let his eyes widen and fill with tears, let the sadness, the loneliness creep into his voice. "Brother, please..."

He could see Thor’s resolve weakening. Loki used the words again. “Brother please." In a moment of truth and inspiration he added "I _want_ you.”

It worked. Thor cursed and strode to the bed. He took him by the shoulders and Loki could see Thor was about to make another excuse, so he reached up to kiss his brother, and guided Thor's hands to his softened cock. He whispered it again like an incantation. "Brother please. I want you." And Thor groaned, and then his jeans were gone, his shirt too, lost somewhere beyond the bed. He pushed Loki flat on the mattress and knelt over him. The tube was in his hand, and Loki smelled the slightly chemical scent of lube as Thor's middle finger pressed between his legs against his hole.

It didn’t hurt when it slipped inside, but it felt strange and intrusive at first. But after a few tentative strokes in and out the shape of Loki’s mouth became the same as his hole: round and wanting. He could feel Thor breathing heavily through his nose, his cheeks flushed with blood and a trickle of sweat dripping down his forehead as he leaned over, feeling carefully at the slick warmth of Loki’s insides.

It didn’t take long for Loki to get hard again, being stretched and opened so intimately. He could feel Thor’s fingers exploring the softness inside his body. Thor had three fingers inside him when he gave a deep whine of need and drew them out, leaving Loki’s ass clenching uncomfortably after them.

Thor swung over to lean against the headboard, and pulled Loki into his lap. Loki's legs were spread wide over Thor's muscled thighs. Thor gripped him around the waist, hands that held Mjolnir now holding him just as surely. Loki blushed, he had been naked in front of Thor before, but never like this. His brother was staring at him like a cat that's cornered a feathered thing but doesn't want to eat it yet. Loki could see the thick, flushed length of Thor's cock, hard and glistening with lube and precome, erect between their bodies. Loki decided he couldn't look any more, so he leaned into his brother, burying his face in Thor's shoulder.

Thor groaned from low in his throat and tightened his fingers around Loki's slim waist.

"Loki..." His name ended with a grunt of lust and arousal, and when Loki felt the prodding of hot, stiff flesh at his backside he met it with a whimper. Thor's breathing was harsh, but he didn’t speak, he just slowly, slowly sat Loki down, using one hand to guide his cock into his brother's body and the other to hold him in place. It stretched him, filling him with burning pleasure, and Loki clung to Thor. He wanted this, although he didn't quite know what it meant. He was always wanting. Wanting Thor’s closeness, this joining, the safety of his brother's arms and this new heat, the powerful, forbidden desire between them. Thor groaned long and low, and thrust up as as he pulled Loki down the last few inches until his hips met Loki’s ass between the wide opening of his thighs, and Thor was fully inside him.  

Loki was hot, so hot, and stuffed full, and Thor’s cock was driving into him over and over, destroying any word in him but _Thor_. It was slick and messy, lube and precome spead between their bellies, he could see it smeared on Thor’s abs when he looked down the length of his own body. And _oh_ he could see where his brother entered him. Thor flipped him onto his back and took his legs, thumbs digging into the soft flesh above his knees, lifting them, bending him, and he would become any shape Thor wanted. Thor thrust deep inside him and whispered “Loki” into his ear, and Loki came crying Thor's name. It wasn’t like any of the secret orgasms he’d wrung out of himself before, it was burning, and he felt the thick spatter of come on his chest.  

It didn’t take Thor long to finish then, with his tongue in Loki’s mouth and his cock thick and buried to the base in Loki’s ass.

Afterward he cleaned Loki gently with a damp towel from the bathroom, cooling his overheated skin and soothing the burn in his stretched ass. Loki squirmed when Thor felt how loose he was from being fucked, his exploring finger coming out white with come.

Loki drifted from sated and stretched to sleep without a hitch.

When he woke up he was cold, despite being bundled with blankets, and Thor was gone. Loneliness stabbed him, until he saw the note held down with a glass of water on the bedside table.

_Be back soon._

_Thor_

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Thor was coming back. Loki clutched the note to his chest and smiled. Thor was his.


End file.
